


An Angel Bangs

by Cerdic519



Series: Exponential [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Butt Plugs, Cravings, Destiel - Freeform, Eggs, M/M, Mpreg, Nesting, Rutting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-10 22:47:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 3,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7011355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerdic519/pseuds/Cerdic519
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Male Pregnancy Survival Guide by Castiel, Angel Of The Lord, the first angel to impregnate a male human. Notes added by Chuck Shurley.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tisha_Wyman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tisha_Wyman/gifts).



> for Tisha_Wyman, because I don't know when to stop, and I wanted to redo BBAA from Cas' point of view.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that, wherever there is a rule that says something must not be done, someone will do it. Be advised that humans are unpredictable creatures, and this nature seems to affect any angel who spends too long in their company. Add to that an angel rut, and in short, I found myself the one doing it, and Dean Winchester, the Righteous Man, was the one I did. Several [1] times.

I must say that he took the pregnancy news quite well. He went rapidly through denial (screaming under the duvet in his room), anger (throwing things), bargaining (or prayer, as he calls it) and depression (wailing 'why me!' every five minutes), soon reaching acceptance after some gentle persuasion. And rough sex. But mostly rough sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [1] One thousand, three hundred and eighty-four times, to be exact, culminating in the first time in his life that Dean Winchester pleaded not to have sex!


	2. Days 1-5

Humans have a sometimes regrettable habit to take things literally. For example, they assume that because an angel has wings, then they are of the avian family and must have a nest. The obvious thing is to point out that not all birds have nests but this is most inadvisable, not least because sooner or later your human is going to realize that they are going to have to lay your eggs, and ask the obvious question. At such a time they will need every reassurance around to help remove them from the ceiling/wall/pie-dish, and humans are particularly susceptible to scent. Dean says my scent is cold winter days and honey, which is odd, but few if any creatures are capable of detecting their own scents, so I suppose he must be right.

The Nest is therefore very important to your human's well-being, as being surrounded by your scent calms him. It is advisable to store up dirty clothes several weeks in advance, and I also change every time I go out running. Fortunately I have perfected the art of being unworldly, so Dean is not surprised when I suddenly strip off right in front of him to get changed [2]. I always make him clear up the drool, though.

It is probably wrong to take advantage of your human like this but needs must, and I always put the needs of my human first [3]. Well, mostly. Dean freaked out a bit when I told him he would have to wear a plug sealed with my grace for the first five days, but I explained that this was to stop other angels from trying to claim him. I must thank Sam Winchester for those fake downloads he printed out for me on angel mating rituals that he showed his brother. My human is adorable, and wonderfully gullible. I am so lucky!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [2] Bad angel!  
> [3] So telling him your rut lasts twenty times longer that it actually does was 'putting his needs first', then? Hmm.


	3. Days 6-10

If there is the archetypal manly man who can chop wood, wrestle bears and man (apparently this is a transitive verb now) with the best of them, then my Dean is it. As I had expected, once the plug was removed – he was getting just a little too much pleasure from it – he promptly had an emotional breakdown. Fortunately I was able to distract him by telling him that I too was affected by this stage, and I could not bear for him to be out of sight or even too far away from me in the same room. Sure enough, he became so distracted by my possessiveness that he forgot his own troubles. I also told him that the removal of the plug meant that I needed to be constantly close to him, again because I feared another angel still might take him from me. I think I begin to understand his references to his 'lower brain', as it is a lot easier to distract than his upper one. Especially when I give him an unannounced grace-fucking from across the room. 

Oh, and what they call 'blowback' is a thing, apparently. [4]

One of the funniest things about Dean is that his manliness precludes him from anything faintly resembling what he describes as 'chick-flick', yet he likes few things more than to be cuddled in my wings, kept totally hidden from the world. Though if he does that thing with his tongue again [5], I am not going to be the one replacing all the light-bulbs in the Bunker! 

An important part of this stage concerns an issue I have often had with Dean, namely his low self-worth. As he grew larger he became concerned that I could not love him in his new form. So I told him that I was going to blow him until he either admitted he was beautiful or passed out.

I was impressed. I did not know his voice could reach that high. [6]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [4] Euw  
> [5] Double euw!  
> [6] You know it's possible to kill humans through too much sex, don't you?


	4. Days 11-15

You are now entering the stage where your human mate will start to transition into an angel, or as good as. It is best to tell him this just before the start of this stage, preferably after filling him with copious amounts of his favorite food because a) he will be too laden down to chase after you, and b) in this stage he will be unable to keep food down, so his last meal (for a while) should be one he will remember.

I initially considered myself fortunate at this stage that, although Dean's brother was of course unable to come anywhere near either of us, he was still able to help with some things. For example, when I requested a jump-suit in Dean's size so I could more easily infuse my grace into him, Sam Winchester immediately provided one, leaving it in the garage for me to collect. It seems that cerise is not a color that Dean particularly appreciates, and he was initially quite annoyed with me for getting it. Fortunately I brought out that hurt puppy expression I had learned from his brother, and he apologized immediately.

I was not pleased with Sam Winchester however, so we arranged for me to take a picture of a naked Dean holding the jump-suit with a card saying 'Thanks', and sent the image to his brother's phone. My angel hearing could detect the scream, and I made a recording for us to enjoy again later.

My mate, mercifully, remained as gullible as ever, and readily agreed when I suggested that the grace infusion process would be more efficient if we were holding each other closely, though he did mutter something about kitchen implements. [7] As it happened I was holding him when his wings finally broke through which, judging from the somewhat colorful language, I think came as a slight surprise to him. [8]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [7] Always wanting to be the big spoon.  
> [8] Yes, humans do get surprised when they suddenly SPROUT WINGS!


	5. Days 16-20

Gabriel annoyed me around this time by slipping in and taking a shot of Dean being all cute and sucking his thumb, and then passing it around the other angels. This is probably a good point at which to remind all my readers that whilst archangels are normally the most powerful angels, an angel guarding his pregnant mate is twice as powerful. Still, I contented myself with sending Gabriel on a long trip to Paris.

And Buenos Aires. And Cape Town. And seventy-seven other places. [9]

It was impressive that I had the energy to do this, because this stage is when your mate is overcome with cravings, making up for his recent fast. And not just normal cravings, like pregnant humans get when they focus on one food to the exclusion of all others. Dean wanted all sorts of exotic and strange dishes from around the world, and after just one day I was tired out, though at least I was able to leave bits of my brother wherever I went [10]. And Dean said that if I ever told his brother about him eating salad, he would end me. So cute!

Dean was also enraptured by what he called my 'singing' to the eggs growing inside of him. I did not embarrass him by telling him that I was singing to our future offspring about how beautiful and adorable their mo.... birth-parent was, and that I loved him more than life itself [11]. That he would do this for me... it was almost too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [9] Thanks so much for that. You know how I hate jigsaws!  
> [10] Trust that daft human to want something from Antarctica.   
> [11] Awwwww!


	6. Days 21-25

This stage of the pregnancy is a difficult one for both of you. The eggs are experiencing a growth spurt, and are drawing on a grace that has only just established itself in their birth-parent (Dean looks at me each time I use that phrase, knowing full well I am thinking of something starting with 'm' and rhyming with brother). The result is that, without action on your part, the eggs can quite literally drain their birth-parent dry. Fortunately angels are able to store some of their grace in liquid form so that their mate can ingest it as and when needed. Or, alternatively, they can simply fuck the grace levels back to normal. It is slightly possible that I may have omitted to mention one of these two alternatives to my mate. [12]

The mate's problem is that, partly, your mate's body is still human but the grace inside it craves renewal. Hence the angel has to carefully balance the needs of their mate with what their body can actually take. The mate is not always the best judge of this, as witness Dean's comment that he would sever an important part of my anatomy if I did not stick it into him as of right now. He can be a little unsubtle at times [13], and at one stage his demands became such that I was forced to extend the aforementioned anatomy part by a little over one hundred per cent to drive home to him just how much I cared. This resulted in him screaming my Father's name a lot (which I found distracting) and begging me to do it again. And again.

Though Dean did not want to venture outside, he did one time go to his car to get something. I found him there in tears; it turned out that he had realized he no longer fitted behind the wheel. I therefore demonstrated that at least we both still fitted in the back seat, and I enjoyed the ride. [14]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [12] Yeah, you 'forgot'. Riiiiiiight.  
> [13] Ya think?  
> [14] But you didn't go anywh..... euw!


	7. Days 26-30

As matters progress through this stage of the pregnancy, your human will become tetchy and irritable [15], which manifests itself in a number of ways. There are few things funnier than a manly man staggering around the Nest trying to be a manly man one minute and then looking down on his bump and smiling that wonderful smile.... I need a moment here. 

It is an unfortunate fact of nature that any offspring will compete with (and frequently attempt to murder) its siblings, and so it is with an angel's eggs. Unless managed carefully, the strongest egg in a clutch will effectively 'leech' grace away the others. Fortunately you can use your grace to prevent this by 'cocooning' each egg inside your mate. Dean said that he now knew what a piano felt like when it was being played, which distracted me so much that I slipped and used the M-word. He sulked for at least ten minutes after that, but fortunately I have ways of making it up to him [16]. 

Talking of which, while it is advisable to sustain your mate on a high plateau of pleasure, one thing that should be avoided at this stage is any contact between your wings. At least Dean will not make any more jokes about the 'wing-gasm' now that he has experienced what one feels like, especially when I use certain feathers to rub the length of his.... arm [17].

Alright, not his arm. [18]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [15] How did you notice?  
> [16] Such as?  
> [17] Phew, you had me worried for a moment there.  
> [18] I knew it! I knew it!


	8. Days 31-35

Until now your mate will have been spending the majority of his time in the Nest, only coming out wearing some of your clothes so he can keep your scent on him. Dean in particular has a habit of staring suspiciously at me as if I was going to remark on this, but I know better. A quiet smirk once he is not looking is the most I allow myself. Anyway, the last ten days will see a total retreat to the Nest, all the way until the big event.

Your mate will, incredibly, become even tetchier at this stage, and will react badly to the smallest things. I was forced to resort increasingly to the hurt puppy look, which without fail has my brave hunter apologizing profusely within minutes if not seconds. Sam Winchester saw this one time some months back and remarked that his brother was totally whipped, so I took the opportunity to assure him that whilst Dean enjoys restraints, paddles and spankings during teacher-student role-play, we do not and never will use whips. He ran from the room before I could explain further, which was odd as I felt he would be reassured to know how I cared for his brother. [19]

Angels are creatures of the air and do not like confinement, so whilst you will naturally wish to be with your mate most of the time, you must take care of your own needs. Sam Winchester had told me of an old computer game he sometimes still plays in which one attempts to destroy asteroids. I did not initially see the point, but having stood outside our home and reduced several of them to piles of floating dust particles, I think I got it. It was quite fun, especially the one way out in the Kuiper Belt. [20] The only downside was when Dean called me in mid-game, and I may have accidentally shut down the state electricity system in frustration. Oh well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [19] I'm not sure whether you're dumb or just conniving. I suspect the latter.  
> [20] Actually he meant.... never mind.


	9. Days 36-39

My mate, the inimitable Dean Winchester, is loud. So it was rather odd to have him so quiet as I set up the Sub-Nest that was to receive the eggs in a few days' time. The fact that he knew full well how the two yard gap between his mattress and the Sub-Nest would be bridged was just possibly a reason for his unusual silence. 

I made the mistake of thinking at this stage, I was headed for a more thoughtful, mature Dean. Then he asked me if he could keep his cock two yards long afterwards. So much for that thought! [21]

Thankfully one of the many great things about Dean is that he is incredibly easy to distract. So I fixed a huge TV screen over the Nest, then set it up so he could always see me as I walked around the Bunker. I may have very slightly smiled that time I came out of the bathroom wearing pink lace panties [22], and could hear him groaning his want for me some distance away. I also took to doing exercises in the Nest area so I could more easily add my sweaty clothes to it afterwards [23]. Dean was very appreciative, at least in between increasingly frequent dashes for the bathroom – all those eggs press down hard on his bladder, poor lamb. He soon realized why I had shifted his memory foam mattress closer to the connecting door to the bathroom, though he was too far out of it to realize that I'd also moved the bathroom, and put in that connecting door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [21] They have not yet invented the pants baggy enough for that! And how would you... you know?  
> [22] Brain bleach! Brain bleach!  
> [23] Yeah, because naked skipping uses so many clothes!


	10. Day 40: Birth

I can assure my readers that the process of giving birth is intensely painful, and will almost certainly result in tears. The screams, the yelling, the begging for the whole damn thing to be over and done with. Ugh!

I suppose Dean didn't enjoy it much, either.

Sitting there with your wings entwined with your mate's whilst he pushes egg after egg along a two-yard-long cock – well, it is awe-inspiring. Fortunately I was flexible enough to give Dean several blow-jobs [24] whilst the process was underway, by using my grace to create the impression of a two-yard-long tongue licking each egg on its way [25]. Dean discovered the 'hard' way that the downside of having a dick ten times longer than normal is that the orgasms I finally let him have in between each egg were ten times more intense. [26] At least it kept him down to broken whimpers.

The only tense moment came when the third egg seemingly got impatient and tried to start out before the second one was clear. I may or may not have made a recording of the noises Dean made just then so I can play it back to his brother the next time he is foolish enough to prank either of us.

As I had known he would Dean birthed four eggs, which I cleaned up while he lay there and just grinned. He was so out of it he did not even notice my careful return of his cock to its normal length, or at least to within an inch or two of it. Waste not want not! [27]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [24] Uh, how exactly?  
> [25] I had to ask!  
> [26] Brain bleach again!  
> [27] I would rather know not!


	11. Days 41-48

It may seem strange but this stage, when the eggs are outside the mate's body and not yet hatched, is one of the most important of all to your future offspring. The eggs retain a strong mental link with their... birth-parent – indeed, they will retain it to some degree for all their lives, which will be useful when they try lying about school or their private lives [28]. The important thing is, therefore, that you keep your mate happy – and I do mean very, very happy.

Dean always used to say that anticipation was half the fun, though after he had had sex with me for the first time he seemed to experience a change of heart [29], saying that being fucked silly is possibly better, though he would need to try it several more times to be certain. He took a lot of convincing, but after that time in Tuscaloosa with the somewhat irregular use of official police equipment, he finally accepted it. Well, two days later when he could speak again, that was. 

I have never understood the fascination some humans have with what they call 'edging' – almost but not quite having sex seems odd – but I used something similar on Dean at this time, keeping him in a constant state of post-orgasmic bliss [30]. Having to blow or fuck him every five minutes was an effort, but an angel has got to do what an angel has got to do.

And I did Dean, every three hundred seconds. I do not think he will look at that egg-timer the same way ever again. [31]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [28] NOT what link that is for.   
> [29] Modest as ever.  
> [30] YOU DID WHAT?!  
> [31] Yeah, and neither will I now, thanks very much!


	12. Day 49: Hatching

On the ninth day after birth, all four eggs hatched within five minutes of each other. It is customary for a new father (another word I did not use around Dean) to choose all the offspring's names, but I rightly judged that my mate would pout if I suggested that, and adorable though that expression is we chose two each. I named the two boys each of whom resembled one of us, Cassiel and Diniel. Dean named the sole girl Mariel after his mother, and the other boy Samael [32]. He claimed that this was after his brother, but the look on my face told him that I knew what that name entailed, because he actually tried batting his eyelashes at me to win me over.

I so nearly uttered the word that starts with 'C' and rhymes with boot. [33]

I explained the differences between our children and the offspring of all-angel matings, and asked Dean how he felt about the whole experience. Despite nine days of constant near-orgasms, he said very firmly that he was not going to raise kids, even ones who grew to maturity in a year, while also dealing with a horny angel. I accepted this, but five months later my rut appeared, and I had to resort to the hurt puppy expression. What is left of my mate, currently moaning happily in our bedroom, is due just before our kids' first birthdays. As my half-brother so rightly says, it is far better to give than to receive. [34]

I have yet to tell Dean that it's seven eggs this time. I think this time we will have to extend him to three yards. Perhaps I might do that earlier this time, along with some practice orgasms. I am sure he would not mind. [35]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's Notes:  
> [32] Starting to get reservations over this angel-human mating thing.  
> [33] Chute?  
> [34] Jesus tells me to pass on, THAT WAS NOT WHAT HE MEANT!  
> [35] I am not sure he would survive, let alone mind!
> 
> NOTE: Hope you've bookmarked the series, because I'm not stopping here – part the third will be the events from a certain moose's point of view.


End file.
